This website may be nearing its end after many long years of hard work. TJParsons after a brief altercation with confidant and collaborator Matt Chellini,  decided to quit writing, quit directing , quit designing and animating and focus solely on his new more focused career as a hip hop musician. Perhaps taking a cue from 2010's Joaquin Phoenix fiasco involving his abrupt severance from Hollywood limelight, TJ has been reported commenting on Phoenix's brave step into a new chapter in his life. Should someone tell him the whole thing was staged? Perhaps not, lets have some fun with him for a while.

When asked about the degree of commitment and seriousness of the unpredicted change he just said " Some people have a.. well you know... know what I'm saying?" Know what he is saying we do not. However we will miss his strange wit, his eccentric behavior and his bizarrely cryptic and humorous films.

So this site will be up for sale shortly. Pending paperwork drawn up just before he begins his "How to enjoy the taste of a diamond studded grill in public and feel secure with yourself" workshop and seminar starting the middle of this month.

We will miss you TJ. Godspeed and remember even though they say you can do anything once you put your mind to it ...we are not really sure about this one. So if the site isn't sold in the meantime we will be keeping the office chair warm for you so we can sit and watch Wilbur Farsee's  asinine micromentary "I'm Not All There" when you come back and smack you in the back of the head for what a dunce you have been.

Sincerely,

The New TJParsons.com Staff


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS JUST IN!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Farsee just released the Micromentary "I'm Not All there" literally five minutes after this article was posted!! Lets take a look, and marvel in his idiot-ness. Come to your senses man. Seriously. What is this guy thinking? His skills made me cry not out of beauty, but out of pity and its ability to make me sick to my stomach. I don't think you will ever work in this town again.

I had wanted to be a movie critic at one point in my life but I had two main problems. 1- I discovered that I enjoy almost any movie for one reason or another. 2- I was incapable of giving a movie a terrible review If I had to. Then I hit another snag when the internet really kicked into gear. It allowed reviews to be as common as ... well lets face it reviews are very common in every aspect. Reviews on Amazon, reviews on IMDB, reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, reviews on Ebay, reviews on cnet. I'm hard headed and I'm sure that you have noticed reviews on this very site under the name "commentary". I feel it necessary to offer my own twist to the "review" pool that I believe will become more and more apparent as time goes on. But above all I always wanted to make films, plan films, and make people laugh, scratch their head or just walk away with some good dinner conversation. Which brings me to Youtube.

After years of avoiding Youtube  I finally decided to utilize an account  I had made when I was exploring it years ago. I had always questioned why someone (the higher production amateur videos out there) would spend so much time, put in their blood sweat and tears, others peoples blood sweat and tears- and an obviously more than significant amount of money in something that they would just throw out there for free.

Youtube and services similar, are more than meets the eye. After just a couple of short months I've learned much. I find the statistical tools invaluable in getting barometer readings on a "public" non target specific demographic. It was like getting a focus group across the entire world. Also it seemed to open access to read info from other enthusiasts,not to mention trade information and techniques. This can be likened to being a musician and playing with many other different musicians with different styles and influences. It somehow keeps you from getting stagnant and single minded.

Services like this could be, if properly used viral marketers dream. Many many lessons to be learned if you are open enough. Admittedly I had to open my self up a little. I learned avant garde is the minority (that's me in many instances) and "kittens in hats" can accrue millions of viewers in a day. Now if I could just figure out a way to make an avant garde feature film about "kittens in hats" and release the trailer - the results could be a career builder.

So I started uploading fun bits, some extras, and head scratchers to this strangely absurd yet powerful service. "Did Youtube kill the independent filmmaker?" In a word, no. No more than the printing press kept people from creating things to read. But I'm sure that the monks that spent hours on illuminated manuscript may have felt the way I did before thinking hard about the media revolution and the value of its technological contribution. Now we can get cell phone videos of actual events rather than those diluted by network T.V. pushing their own agenda (cough .."ratings") Even more than unfiltered raw footage is a way to share,communicate, market, and find films or media that would otherwise go unnoticed for artists that choose not to live in New York or California. Now they have an outlet available to them that helps peak interest in what they are doing no matter where they are.

So in the course of making media you need direct human input as well in addition to the worldwide input (for better or for worse) that Youtube gives you. Direct input can be a good tool even when it seems disappointing at first. To quote Bill Cosby in "Fat Albert", - "If your not careful you may learn something before it's done." Case in point (a recent conversation dramatically reproduced for your pleasure):

                    FILMMAKER
What?!!! You don't see the edit. Man, that's a good transition.. I'm telling you.

                     FRIEND
I dunno. I guess..

                     FILMMAKER
Did you see it when I.. [ insert proud moment of editing prowess here]

                     FRIEND
No.

                    FILMMAKER

Really?

                    FRIEND
Nah.

                   FILMMAKER
Serious? (saddening)

                   FRIEND
Yes. I mean I'll take a look again.

                   FILMMAKER
Hmmmm.

Now, at first glance this may be the conversation of  a disappointing experience. At second glance too for that matter, as the despondent filmmaker hangs his head and recalls the hours he spent on that scene alone with its many cuts, effects and sound mixes. The hundreds of times he listened to the same sound track over and over. The fading eyesight he may experience in years to come with the tedious mind numbing frame by frame cuts and measures. But, you have to read between the lines. As many professionals tell their protoge's : "If you've done a good job , they won't notice the cut at all". This may seem anticlimactic after all the work that is involved, but sometimes this can be the highest compliment in disguise.

Below is TJPARSONS.com's channel if you are interested. I have decided to upload some stange-ness from the cutting room floor with  bits , bytes, clips  and snips. And if you want to subscribe... sure why not right? Go for it. Thanks in advance. I'll try to keep it fun and unusual.

Advise for this month: "Don't let the wires cross in your brain and say William S. Burroughs when you really mean Edgar Rice Burroughs, it probably going to mess up the conversation pretty bad."

AMC, ABC and other networks limit audiences by denying streaming services; loose money due to consumer choice

V the series on ABC, and The Walking Dead on AMC.
Good programs .. but I'm no longer a viewer. I will find something else to watch on a different network that embraces the reality that content should  be readily available and consumer controlled. Consumer controlled content, - a process that has audiences dropping cable companies and traditional network TV in favor of online services such as Hulu and Netflix and on some other demographic levels watching hours of Youtube. Some Youtube channels are now rivaling network TV with fun content, increasing production values, millions of viewers and easily accessible public statistics. Netflix isn't perfect they still don't include close captioning for those with disabilities but it allows people to better budget their time and streamline their media intake. Hulu includes adverts, though minimal, we all watch adverts on the internet, right? Hulu is clever enough to understand that given a choice consumers will choose which adverts they want to watch more of, and tailor it to the overall experience  then harvest the statistics I'd imagine. Data I'm sure companies would sell their soul to get if they just understood the value of better designing commercials that work. There was a weird thing years ago that carried moving pictures across the airwaves, was free, and there were regular advertisements that large companies paid for. Then came the advent of cable. Consumers paid for the programming, and in effect watched commercials bought the products and cable companies received both revenue for subscriptions and from the companies that paid for the advertisements. Now its a new age networks are confused on what to do and it shows.

   I guess I feel most sorry for the actors/crew/writers that may not have a job in a few months after filming a season of a show because of networks consciously limiting audiences that lead to eventual cancelations. What hurts actors more, I'm sure, is the fact that when their faces are exposed less-  it closes up more career opportunities because audiences actually didn't see them as much as they could have, had they been more easily accessible. If I were an actor in this day and age I would make sure my contract would have a clause that would require the network or Studio to stream content even if for a limited time.  I for one generally like a good show ..then  eventually get the DVD for the series (which is usually about a third of a months cable bill- so I'm told) . They win thrice in most people's case- cable subscriptions, advertising dollars, DVD sales. But don't take my word for it, think of the many series of shows that were resurrected (some more than once), remade, or spun-off of only after repeated internet viewings, word of mouth and  phenomenal DVD sales.

  If networks continue to implement their old and tired business models  they will continually loose profits then ironically blame the internet for their loss and find some other service  to deny or way to squeeze money from you. Sure, link this if your tired of high cable prices and networks keeping content from online services such as Netflix and Hulu. I'm not saying give the whole cow for free, just post the latest episodes of programs and take it away after a week. Take in the advertising dollars from the internet, get some new fans of the show (exponentially in most cases the internet is a funny thing - its like word of mouth to hundreds of people at a time instead of water cooler 1 on 1 conversations), hook em' hard,  sell some DVD's. Thus completes the circle of life. 
 

 

I almost stopped watching Caprica because of this conundrum. Thankfully Sci-fi had enough foresight to understand keeping science fiction nerds from (something similar to the TV show Dallas (1978-1991)but set in space) would be like denying make-up at a beauty pageant - it would just get ugly between people. This would be kind of like angering the person that makes your food at a restaurant (the net nerds of course(cooks) the word of mouth conductors that make "the buzz" that help sell the show in the first place).Yes that is an admission to Nerd-dom. Was there ever any doubt - but without nerds you wouldn't have Viagra or the internet so bite your tongue. I vow to no longer view networks or shows that make promises they can't keep. People give Fox a lot of grief but at least they stream almost everything, and were pioneers that opened the door to programming we enjoy so much now. Show of hands - how many of you were really sick and tired of the perfect American family pre- Married with Children. I mean I'm just saying.....I mean how conservative was "In Living Color"?, "Mad TV"? or Mcfarlane's brood and cartoon monopoly for that matter? Try looking up some things that break new ground like: Glee (breaks many conventions I'm sure many would have thought they'd never see in a lifetime- and just won a golden globe or two), Fringe (a more topical cerebral version of the X-files on steroids), Raising Hope (you canceled My Name is Earl NBC, so Fox made a series about - you guessed it a less than perfect American family with the same creators). All above mentioned are streaming and LEGAL; all quality; all entertaining; all have fans growing in record numbers.
 

I think that even Youtube shows are getting more interesting with increasingly better production values, and ridiculously high statistics and numbers. I saw a few second clip of a hairless newborn bunny had like four million views and some 10 minute shows and channels have multiple millions of viewers. Networks - time to adapt a new business model - "get with the program". Shareholders agree in many industries that applying a tired old business model to evolving trends and technologies is a bad idea - so I must not be completely in outer space on this subject.

So remember: take control of your media,and money - demand control over content and simply just stop watching shows and networks that jerk you around. It's absolutely no skin off my keister I assure you. I got scripts to develop and productions to schedule possibly sound to mix. My "relaxation time" entertainment budget is extremely limited and goes to companies that work for it, NOT those that demand it. I haven't owned a TV for eleven or so years.

Thanks for your interest in this matter,
    TJPARSONS

 

Click here for ABC's official statement on V the series.

Dear Santa,

Please bring me:

A RED ONE Camera System or
or CANON XL2
or CANON XL1
SONY PD150 or SONY PD170 -
CANON GL2

and an $8,000 credit limit in a local camera store for filters and accessories - and a $10,000 Lowes gift card if its not too much trouble, and world peace ..... yeah that too.

                           Thank you in advance,
                                                   Little Tommy P

 

Something tells me by the time that I can afford a RED ONE  I'll be able to film my shots with a wristwatch because the feature of telling time will be obsolete by then ( a stab at the fact that no one uses a phone to talk anymore, just text and update Facebook and play mp3's.). Scott Pilgrim was a awesome thing to get for the holidays though. I think that this movie will have to be up for some award at the very least for special effects. Don't get me started because I just can't say anything negative about this film. That being said Blue-ray is a great format I'm falling in love with, but there are some trends that I wished the big companies would not exploit. I love watching a movie FOR the movie and xtras, but it seems now that Ad's intruding every aspect of your life wasn't enough - yes even on these very pages - UNIVERSAL  - thought it a good idea, even necessary to make ads that teeter dangerously close on the side of obscuring the cinematic experience. More specifically in the case of Scott Pilgrim, the ads appear over the full motion video in the background just to the left of the actual menu itself - its highly distracting, even ugly, hocking dates and times of network TV programs, much like those animated pop-ups that interfere with television programs. When I author a DVD I look at it as a package as a whole - extras, commentary, etc. I put special care into the look of a DVD - ensuring it has character and above all reflects the tone of the material about to be experienced. I did not appreciate pop up ads on an otherwise spectacular Blue-ray experience. Its tarnished now ... shame on you Universal. If I were the Producers and Directors I'd be quite possibly pissed.

After getting these Blue-Rays as one might imagine I was stoked and couldn't wait to drop my eyes on it. I'll stop right here to remind all of you bleary eyed right after Christmas trying to get these players hooked and working, remember to make sure the firmware is up to date. Save yourself some headache and a trip or two back to the store returning "defective discs ". Like I did with the new release of Fantasia that was in fact a new generation of Blue-ray. I watch mine on the studio computer, so I actually had to update the software which brings me to something else. Updating firmware for players and if you have a PC update the program which sometimes involves buying a NEW program after the one that came with the computer or drive when you bought it. On the low end these players are about $79 for the programs, and after updating my player recently it lost DVD functionality because DVD's are running copyright protection. I do not condone piracy and in fact in this very site is mentioned numerous times and even links to legitimate ways to watch and enjoy content. But i wonder where is the limit? At what point does the endless copyright applications, ads, and adware that hassle you overpower the desire to have a meaningful cinematic experience. The fact is, it taints it rather heavily. After getting all of my blue- ray issues straight it was a few hours later a lot of wasted time and I didn't even feel like watching a movie then, the fact is there are very few movies worth going though all this for. If you read up after unwrapping the those shiny new Blue-ray players on Christmas, be aware that if its a newly released Blue-ray disc - my experiences so far are from Disney and Universal but may include all within this generation of discs. So don't take it them back to the store like I did, (the first one played fine just the second disc didn't) and don't throw your player out of the window - which i was tempted to do. After the eggnog wears off think about it rationally, make sure everything is up to date and start considering a boycott as a consumer of any Studio in the industry puts out Blue-rays with extreme over intrusive adds and ridiculous copy-protection and studio adware ( yes there is that too).

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Merry Christmas and all that jazz, and thanks for stopping by,
                                                                                                 TJPARSONS

Fairly low key Halloween this year- am I the only one noticing this?  There just doesn't seem to be many decorations abound or as much going on in general as usual. As  a matter of fact it "crept' up fast in my opinion.

Usually for weeks leading up to Halloween I take the opportunity to dust off some movies that I cant normally find a reason to watch other times of the year and make a sort of countdown to Halloween agenda. I didn't really do such this year. I usually start off with the fun and campy and top finish up the days before Halloween with genuine creepy terror (ten back to campy and fun to cleanse the palette).

For some reason I didn't get into the genuinely scary movies this year. I set cruise control though the fun and campy. Usually I cannot stand reality TV. It has to be something real interesting to pull me in, which brings me to the candy corn of camp and fun in Halloween 2010. I found a reality show that promised to entertain while they were "Finding the Next Elvira". At the length of only four episodes I found it to be perfect, not overstaying its welcome like most of all other reality TV. The four part show dripped of bad horror movie puns and evaluations of the would be mister or mistresses' of the dark - from two fellows in Elvira impersonating drag. Upon losing the Elvira costumes, was revealed an over catty pretentious judge, and the second was like the type of friend that seems to spend all night trying to come up with a witty setup for a joke only to fall flat of his face upon delivery. - They both should have stayed in drag for the small batch of episodes it would have been a lot more fun. My personal rapture came with the winner, of which I predicted accurately from the beginning of the series and felt really deserved it (no spoilers here). Other guest judges included Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees in the Friday the 13th franchise) as well as world famous Rick Baker (special and make-up effects artist and consultant)

Then I decelerated the Halloween train though a camp quagmire entitled " Zombie Campout (2002)". This was the perfect palette cleanser as it seemed to capture the essence of the "c" movie peppered with guilty enjoyment but logic confusion in a world where people wear bikinis instead of their clothes for every occasion and zombies are defeated with ordinary frozen water in bags we like to call ice cubes. (that is a spoiler, and you heard me right - you'll see when you watch it). R.R, Moore gets on me occasionally about my intake of B movie vitamins, to which I swear every time that I do I have a weak spot for some killer B's but I still wriggle in pain (but a fun pain) over obvious lack of  technical logic or "bad" production decisions. He abruptly hits me across the cheek with  "the gauntlet of pretentiousness" and we duel a mental game of uno with examples of movies and debate the motivations for going through the trouble of making them.

Picture above - is from last year (better late than never huh?) and about 2$ worth of make-up bought after Halloween was over and the stores were getting rid of stuff for just pennies on the dollar. Now (by the time that you may be reading this) it is a good time to take advantage of those 75% off fog machines, and paint, cream and liquid latex for whatever you imagination can think up without breaking a 10 dollar bill (in the right store that's including the fog machine). Shop smart ... shop.. well you know the rest. feel free to pick up woman's make-up at a 1 dollar or everything's a dollar stores when you have the chance if you can find one's without glitter. Get a small clear tackle or pencil box, grab yourself some black pencils (feature emphasis and wrinkles), browns, pinks (for skin discoloration cuts etc) and several shades of blue, green, and  purple (for bruises and various shades of decay). Word of advice -" get some photos to use for comparison to prevent you from becoming a dollar store drag queen (unless that's your bag - then have at it) But movie make up will be covered in the future  in the No Budget Film School.

I have been noticing that haunted houses use Chomadepth (chroma-depth) to add fun to their fear factor. That's one of the reasons why I love this particular type of 3D - Its easily to learn and fun to figure out how to use it in "other" applications- in this case something that is different than a moving image or 2d graphic. I would advise you to get some cheaps pairs of chromadepth glasses to play with to see how they work. Im excited to see this type of 3D pop up in the most seemingly unlikely places lately. I'll pop in a link below for you guys to get some glasses and try your own thing. The biggest plus side with these things has always been being able to control an infinite number of distances (well thousands if not millions anyway) between the observer and the art object (greater control over depth within the rules of the spectrum).

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, FANGS for POPPING BY,

TJParsons